It was the loss of the century. Our favourite British Boy Band, One Direction, brought us hours of bouncy teen joy. They showed us how to have serious knitwear game without looking like our Great Uncles and restored our faith in the co-ordinated group outfit. If there were a Nobel Awesome Prize, they’d surely be splitting custody of that trophy as we speak.
Men want to be them, Women wanted to be with them (aside from lesbians, who just want to look like them) until the heart-breaking news broke – Zayn Malik, the-brooding-one-with-the-genuine-beard, decided to leave the band. But had he tried to warn us?
Could this picture have been a warning that Zayn was looking to leave?
Like when Yoko stole John from The Beatles, the world stood still. It was Geri buggering off all over again. As all of us penned a tearful “Dear Diary” entry, Zayn was packing his sleek scarves and tucking in only half his shirt for the last time, before taking his chosen path… In one direction – Away from the band.
As with all major tragedies and world changing events, conspiracy theories started to circulate. Was his departure a result of his jealous fiancé giving him an ultimatum? Had he been caught being naughty and this wasn’t such a voluntary leave? Is he really a lizard trapped in the body of a human who couldn’t juggle his singing career with his other job running the illuminati gift shop on the weekends?
Whatever the reason, it’s beginning to become clear that he knew he was leaving long before Twitter did. Haunting photos show Zayn clearly trying to hint to his fans that all wasn’t as it should have been.
Here’s the bands group shots for their branded perfume, with Zayn looking decidedly distracted as the rest of the boys look knowingly in to our souls…
See… He knew he was buggering off ages ago. Couldn’t even focus on the camera!
Think it’s a fluke? Oh how we wish it was. It seems Zayn has been trying to pre-warn us for months about his impending break with all of their perfume shots…
Peering in to his solo future…
How did we miss such a clear declaration of this impending crisis? The British Media did everything they could to soften the blow, even trying to compensate a nation in mourning by knocking down the price of their Easter Egg.
But, as we pick ourselves up off, dust ourselves off and try to get on with our lives, we must remember… It is better to have danced and lost than never to have danced at all! And would knowing beforehand have made this ball-achingly painful time in our lives any easier? No.
So thank you anyway for trying to warn us Zayn. If only Harry could have heard your cries for help through his ridiculously perfect hair. Bright Side – Maybe they can replace him with Ed Sheeran?